How to nurture the right mindset for living to 100


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“I’m 87. I don’t feel 87, I don’t think like I’m 87,” declared Elaine Neuwirth on TikTok. “The most important thing is to get involved… interact with other people… have a purpose. Get up and move… Be part of the world.”

Her words, now viewed by 3.6 million people and counting, capture the growing scientific consensus that it isn’t enough to just eat well and exercise regularly: to live a long life, you must nurture your psychological well-being, too. And while you can’t outrun a lifetime of poor dietary choices and a sedentary lifestyle, there is evidence to suggest it is never too late to reap the benefits of making some psychological tweaks.

This article is part of a special issue in which we explore how to make your latter years as healthy and happy as possible. Read more here

Let’s start with your relationships. To understand their importance, turn to the longest in-depth study of human life ever performed, the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Since 1938, it has followed 724 boys and young men, and more than 1300 of their descendants, to identify what makes people flourish, both physically and mentally.

Mark Schultz, associate director of the study, says one thing stands out: high-quality relationships. It turns out that social ties are powerful predictors of late-life health and well-being. For instance, one analysis of data from the study showed that men who have more positive social relationships and are more involved with their community during midlife have a lower risk of depression and better cognition in late life.

“People we’re close to help us figure out solutions to problems; they help us regulate difficult emotions,” says Schultz. “Just being near people calms the body in important ways.” This is because close relationships positively affect our hormones, our immune systems and even how our genes are expressed.

Immune system impact

When people are in good relationships, their wounds literally heal quicker. Several studies published over the past year hint at why. They show, for instance, that having more close friends is associated with a stronger immune system in general and a greater proportion of cells that delay immune ageing – suggesting that sociability can help make the immune system more potent and youthful.

Having close friendships also appears to alter the activity of genes responsible for cellular ageing and several of the systems that help our bodies cope with stress. And since chronic stress is a known driver of heart disease, Alzheimer’s and many other conditions, these effects can be significant over the long run. For instance, one analysis of 148 different studies of links between social connectivity and longevity found a 50 per cent increased likelihood of survival for participants with stronger social relationships.

But how many relationships are enough? “If you have no one who’s got your back, then going from zero to one will obviously bring huge gains,” says Schultz, “but the literature is pretty consistent that larger networks are associated with better health.”

The social network

A useful test, he says, is to ask yourself who you would call if you woke up sick or scared at night. If no one comes to mind, you may be at risk of loneliness, a driver for depression, heart disease and cognitive decline. Loneliness is so bad for our health that its influence on early death is greater than that of obesity.

“The emotional pain resulting from loneliness can produce the same stress response as a chronic medical condition and thus lead to chronic inflammation and reduced immunity,” says Ashwini Nadkarni at Harvard Medical School. “This is why enhancing a sense of community can be so important while ageing.”

An older man playing checkers game with children at a park table

Positive social relationships and a sense of purpose have an impact on how long we live

Cavan Images/Alamy

The good news is that tackling loneliness doesn’t require professional help. Clinical psychologist Katherine Schafer at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Tennessee recommends two steps: find a way to contribute to someone else’s life and let others contribute to yours. “Start super small. Did you see a new parent drop a toddler’s shoe? Grab the shoe and hand it to the parent. You have positively impacted someone,” she says. “Letting people do the same for you, and considering the way they cared, can have a great impact and lead to connections – the antidote to loneliness.”


Purpose – something that gives your life direction or makes it feel meaningful – can keep you alive for longer

Alongside tending to your social connections, you might also want to consider your sense of purpose. Yes, it may whiff of unscientific woo, but there’s growing consensus that purpose – something that gives your life direction or makes it feel meaningful – can keep you alive for longer.

Having purpose is associated with a reduced risk of chronic disease and overall mortality. The mechanisms haven’t been elucidated just yet, but having purpose is thought to lower stress levels and motivate people to exhibit healthier behaviours. If it doesn’t come naturally, though, can finding purpose later in life make a difference?

In 2022, Eric Kim at the University of British Columbia in Canada and his colleagues set out to answer that by analysing data from nearly 13,000 US adults over 50. Participants had their sense of purpose and health measured across eight years. Those who found more purpose in life over that time had higher physical activity, fewer sleep problems and reduced risk of stroke and overall mortality.

Good attitude

It can also help to try to fight back against any negative attitudes you have about ageing itself. A 2022 study of almost 14,000 US adults over the age of 50 found that those who felt most positive about ageing had a 43 per cent lower risk of dying of any cause over four years compared with those who felt the least positive.

Other studies have shown the influence of mindset on health: shifting away from negative thoughts can reduce chronic stress, while becoming optimistic can decrease your risk of heart disease.

Stacking the odds in favour of a long and healthy life was always going to require effort. So, alongside diet and exercise, remember to nurture your psychological well-being. Call a friend, embrace ageing and reflect on what is truly valuable. As Neuwirth says, get up and be part of the world. It might just help you stay in it for longer.

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