The Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen needs little introduction: the G stands for Geländewagen, which roughly translates from German to “off-road” or “all-terrain” vehicle. It’s a warmongering vehicle that wears its heart on its sleeve and its intentions plastered across its rump.
Bizarrely, “the G” has also earned somewhat of a star-studded status during its 45-year career, with everyone from hip-hop moguls to dictators papped romping around in the massive, blocky military machine. It is a formidable off-roader but also an aggressive show of wealth.
The G63 AMG, with its ferocious twin-turbo V8 engine, is a particularly raucous, flamboyant and fantastically silly example… and one that proves most G-Wagen customers buy with their hearts, rather than their heads.
It’s like traditional off-road technology has been given the PlayStation treatment.
As a result, the thought of stuffing an enormous 124kWh (116kW usable) battery underneath the robust, ladder-frame chassis, implanting four, independently-controlled electric motors and imbuing it with the ability to G-Turn (pirouette on the spot) doesn’t actually seem that mad. Neither does the $162,650 / £154,870 / AU$249,900 asking price.
It is big, heavy, pretty terrible when it comes to electric range and not exactly comfortable. But spend some time with the thing, like I did recently, and it weirdly starts to make sense.
Tricks of the trade
The clamber up to the driver’s seat is borderline comical, with shorter owners (ahem, me) practically requiring a set of steps to get in and out of the vehicle.
The G 580 with EQ Technology, to give it the full, almost regal title, stole many column inches when it silently burst on to the scene last year. Images of electric G-Wagens (dubbed EQG back then) performing G-Turns on the Las Vegas strip accompanied flashy visuals when Merc effectively took over CES that year.
But for all of the razzamatazz, there’s some serious engineering going on underneath the skin. The German marque has stashed all of the sensitive electrical stuff inside a carbon-reinforced underbody so the vehicle’s off-road performance wasn’t encumbered.
In fact, four, individually-controlled motors (one at each wheel) develop a staggering 1,164 Nm of torque, while virtual differential locks are produced via clever, computer-assisted torque vectoring. It’s like traditional off-road technology has been given the PlayStation treatment.
Although I didn’t have the means to really test its mettle during the few days I enjoyed the G 580, the off-road performance is sensational. G-Steer allows even the tightest of switchbacks to be carefully navigated, while the various off-road modes help it tackle everything from deep water wading to snowy mountain vistas.
Proper 4×4 enthusiasts will likely turn their noses up at all of this digital interference, but the bottom line is, even a complete novice could handle some of the roughest terrain with little worry about getting stuck.
Road warrior
Most passers-by don’t really notice the G 580 has been electrified until you silently waft past, when they will tend to stare slack-jawed and mouth “is it electric?” To which you simply have to smile and nod as you head to the charging stall… which you will do a lot.
During a 400-mile round-trip and a weekend visiting family, I had to plug the G 580 in three times to make sure I got there and back.
The exterior styling has softened slightly over recent years and the battery-powered version has had some of its more brutal lines smoothed off in pursuit of aerodynamics. But this is all largely pointless
Let’s face it, the G 580 is a 3,180kg brick that prefers to head-butt a hole in the air at highway speeds, rather than silently glide through it. The silence of the powertrain also reveals the problem areas that cause plenty of wind noise – the wing mirrors, the upright windscreen, the generally massive front-end.
At the rear, Mercedes has also added a cheeky nod to the past with the spare wheel cover, which is now much smaller and houses the cables for charging, not a wheel. It looks a bit daft, but then the entire car is daft.
The doors still require an almighty slam to shut them and the central locking sounds like someone has accidentally dropped a shotgun. Everything is overblown, slightly ridiculous but kinda charming all at the same time.
Inside, the G 580 feels surprisingly crammed and, like a reverse Tardis, somehow makes poor use of its overblown exterior dimensions. Rear passengers sit shoulder-to-shoulder, while both leg and headroom is limited throughout. Even the trunk is a weird size, sort of tall but short.
Oh, and the clamber up to the driver’s seat is borderline comical, with shorter owners (ahem, me) practically requiring a set of steps to get in and out of the vehicle.
Technical glitches
The G 580 stays true to much of the G series’ heritage in all but the infotainment array. Gone is any semblance of analogue, as it has all been replaced by two 12.3-inch digital displays.
The central of those takes care of the most important information, be it multimedia, navigation or a dedicated off-road “cockpit”, which shows things like the power distribution at each wheel and an “invisible bonnet” that takes feed from front cameras to make rock-crawling slightly less perilous.
A second screen behind the steering wheel is also highly customizable, with flashy graphics that make it feel every bit as modern as any other expensive Mercedes in the line-up.
However, there are lots of buttons on the steering wheel, many of which feature a touch-sensitive haptic surface that can easily be brushed when steering.
I lost count of the number of times I accidentally changed the radio station or unintentionally messed with cruise control.
Even the simple act of adjusting the volume is an absolute pain, as it either jumps by too many increments or just doesn’t react at all. Thankfully, there are plenty of physical dials and switches in and around the central console that are far easier to live with.
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One of the electric G-Wagen’s final party tricks is its ability to convince passengers that it has an internal combustion engine. The tech is dubbed G-Roar and it essentially consists of a big sound box that lives where a ‘frunk’ would normally reside.
You can play around with the soundtrack but it does a pretty good job of filling in the silence left by the electrified powertrain – or at least covering up the wind noise a little.
Most will likely turn this feature off, because there’s enough of a sensation when accelerating to keep all aboard entertained. Mercedes-Benz quotes a 4.7-second 0-62mph time and it certainly feels quick off the line.
It also cruises comfortably at highway speeds and makes for a decent, if a little rattly, long-distance companion. But, like its AMG-fettled forebears, it becomes hideously expensive to live with when charging on the public network.
Range anxiety
Despite the advertised 294-mile range, most owners will be lucky if they squeeze 200 miles out of the massive 116kWh battery.
During a 400-mile round-trip and a weekend visiting family, I had to plug the G 580 in three times to make sure I got there and back, with enough juice to ferry friends to parks and pubs.
Thankfully, it can fast charge at speeds of up to 200kW, so the stops were fleeting, but with the public network costing as much as £1 per kW, it resulted in a £300 (around $400 / AU$615) fuel bill.
Again, anyone buying one of these likely won’t care about that, but this EV flies in the face of ‘efficient motoring’ and is the antithesis of everything the German marque has been doing with its upcoming CLA.
The electric G-Wagen only really makes sense if you have a nice, temperature-controlled garage you can charge it in.
But predictably, none of its foibles really do anything to blunt the ownership experience – at least not over the short term. It’s a car that’s never really made that much sense and this battery-powered version continues that slightly bizarre lineage.
It’s huge, looks silly and doesn’t even drive particularly well, but I still want one.
